Tuesday, June 21, 2011

My biggest desire

After watching a rather disturbing episode of Dr. Phil, I think I have realized my biggest wish as a parent. I have many many wishes, but I definitely have a biggest one!

Owen,

You are already 2years and 4 months old! You are growing up so fast, everyone said it would happen in the blink of an eye! I look at photos now of when you were a baby and I almost can not even remember you being that small. Now we have full conversations that just amaze me. The other day you said "mommy, I do not want to do this. BECAUSE,......." really? By chi ld is now r easing with me? Today when I got you out of your new big boy bed you told me that yesterday Maggie Dog had fallen out of your bed. Your grasp of the term yesterday, today, tomorrow, etc. Just amaze me. When did you get so big?

You are also so incredibly sensitive which is a quality I truly hope you never lose. In the past week or so you have been a little aggressive with me when you get angry . On two ooccasns you hit me and it truly hurt. The first time you knocked into my ear and it stung s bad. The second time, last night, you hit me in the eye- not on purpose, I know! Both times I tried to fight back the tears, but it REALLY REALLY HURT! Both times you became an absolute ball of mush as soon as you saw I was upset. You came up to me both times, gave me the biggest hugs and kisses I could ever ask for - and said mommy I am so sorry, owie loves you so much! Then you would snuggle with me for a few minutes and. Keep making sure I was ok. F

I am so proud of you and your attentiveness. If you continue with this,you will make the most AMAzing and attentive husband- though you do not get to date until you are at least 30 or 35!!!!!

My biggest wish as your mother is that I am always able to be a person that you are comfortable with. Realistically I k now that you will start making choices that I do not agree with. Goodness, when I think about some of the shenanigans I was up to at that age and it absolutely kills me to think about you. Ging through some of the same things kills me. But I always want to be a person that you can come to, no matter what! Even if you make a terrible decision, one that you know I may be upset by, I pray that you are comfortable enough with me that you can come to me to discuss it.

I also pray that I am able to always show you love, no matter wh at decisions you make. I know that sometimes I. Can be really judgmental, even. When ei do not eant to be. But I pray th at I am always able to show you that I love you, no matter what. And there iOS Nothing Ever, in this world, THAT YOU COULD EBER EVER DO TO CHANGE THAT!

I love you so much Owen. You have changed my life, changed me as a person. And I pray that I can always show you my gratitude!!!!!

Love you, Mommy!

No comments: