Thursday, April 26, 2012

30 weeks- bed rest

This blog is about to get real.

Really real.

Last week I was pretty sure my water had broken. I had a huge gush of blood/water and I just knew it was not good. My mother in law was here for the week so I was not worried about Owen. I immediately called my friend Leslie and told her I needed to go to the hospital. She was here in record time and we were seen very quickly by the doctor.

Honestly I do not remember a ton of what happened after this. I know they tried to stop the contractions (they were pretty intense and close together), they did a quick ultrasound to determine that my water had NOT broken (instead my doctor believes my placenta is beginning to detach and it was a gush of blood/fluid), and gave me all kinds of medication.

The first medication I was given, Terbeutaline, did not work to stop the contractions. They then put me on magnesium which is very very harsh on your system. I was on this for 24 hours maybe and it did slow down the contractions. Thankfully :)

I spent the next several nights in the hospital under doctors supervision and now I am thankful to say that I am home.

Unfortunately I have been placed on bed rest, I have a 3 year old, and my husband is in Alabama. So Owen is heading to Pennsylvania in a couple of days for several weeks until John gets home. I am absolutely devistated. I know that it is for the best as I can not care for him properly while on bed rest- but the other part of me feels like the most terrible mother in the world.

I (unrealistically) feel like a terrible mother choosing one child over the other. I hate that John has been gone for 5 weeks and now I am making him lose his mother for 3 weeks. I am just a mess.

I am so thankful to have great friends and family as a support, but I am just a mess right now. Please keep me, Grey, Owen, and our whole family in your prayers!!!

Sunday, April 15, 2012

a visual

Even though I have done the whole child birth thing before, it is kind of scary to think of the changes my body is going to go through when July comes around. I saw this picture tonight and it is such a crazy visual reminder of what happens when you dilate!